An orgy of baking

I feel more focused today. That's because last night I made strawberry jam, lemon curd, baked a genoise and almost made sweet bread with dates.

Ah, baking, my defense against the world. Even better, I share these goodies with people so they eat the majority of the sugar, butter and carbohydrates so that they (not I) get fat, and I look ever thinner when I stand to them. Yes, at my age, I'm not afraid of wearing horizontal stripes.


So anyway, after a good sleep last night - not that's got anything to do with my sense of focus - I feel more capable of meeting the day's challenges - in so much as they are challenges. Yesterday, I was thinking about what's happening in my life - to wit, all the things I feel responsible for - and was feeling somewhat overwhelmed, and not just a little bit irritated (although that's a different story). Anyway, I went all Fay Weldon and Worst Fears and went to the worst that could happen:

Become destitute ("Edy, are we pwoarh?! We simply cannot be pwoarh!") and all that follows - becoming social pariah, not washing enough, begging for alms on the street with Ash on a string (mind you he'd probably get more alms than me), not having a lovely shoebox to sit in and drink tea and much more that I can't bear to put down here.

And then I thought of the many, many, many who are much worse off than me. And of those who have little financial resources, but live a full life and I realised that I'm so caught up in my own trappings, and that really, it's not that big a deal if things change. Humans are adaptable, and if we can stop trying to control our surroundings and what happens, it's that much easier.

Speaking of destitute, there's a strong chance of this happening in the next year or so. Damn those who make decisions on the basis of what's hot and not, and those who decide that one institution is better than two because all the freaking dates have changed now. The bad - next potential shower is May 2018 (financial drought metaphor), but the good is that I have time to draw little cartoons with arrows that show how my mind is thinking. So it's time to get those coloured pens and inks out - but before I do that, I'll have to clear out the storeroom and toss more stuff out. And so it goes. I shall finance my way through using Craigslist...anybody need a packsack and birdwatching binoculars? Oh finally, the crocuses have made an appearance and I shall need to rake the lavender to get the garbage that idiot, horrible, rude, worthless humans throw willy-nilly here and there - but mostly in our hedges.

Right, must stop the growling and get on to some e-mail to send my instructions out.