A spoonful of sugar...

Sugar and butter make the medicine go down...
It's just a little sugar, it's just a little sugar...(sung with double time on the last two syllables to Jennifer Paige's It's just a little crush".

SO, the UK just revised their sugar intake guidelines to 6 teaspoons a day from 10. This was told me by the good Dr. C. And it's all very apropos cos I'd seen an internet meme about the biochemistry what happens when pure sugar hits your system. Imagine my surprise when I found out the information was put out 5 years ago. I'm sure you've seen it too - it tracks the fate of sugar in a pop or soda (depending where you are) drink, and your body's reactions over 60 minutes or so. Now, I've known all this in some fashion, but never really taken it in other than - sugary, fizzy drinks are bad for you - they may taste wonderful on a hot day when you're really thirsty, but more often than not, you regret drinking one a few minutes after. Anyway - just to show how shallow I am, I reacted viscerally when I read the following - especially the underlined (my emphasis) part.

A fat cell expanding rapidly
20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (And there’s plenty of that at this particular moment.)

In truth, I saw, "any sugar molecule it can get its nasty grasping hands on into fat cells.

So - let's do some chemistry now. There're roughly 10 teaspoons of sugar in the typical sugary fizzy drink (let's call it SFD). That's 50 grams. The molecular formula for sugar is C12H22O11 which gives it a molecular weight of 342 gm per mole. That means there's 0.14 moles of sugar in an SFD, and since (and possibly entering the realms of fantasy here cos it's been a long time since I've had to do math like this) 6.022 × 1023 molecules per mole, there would be 0.88 x 1023 molecules of sugar and therefore by my faulty reasoning, 0.88 x 1023 fat cells grown per SFD. The typical cell is about 50 microns (50 x 10-6) across, that'd be let's see... oh, I don't know, a hell of a lot of fat cells which would add a hell of a lot of girth to you. So yeah. No. Not drinking SFDs anymore.

Flat noodles after dieting strenuously
Of course this factoid did not stop me from inhaling a large portion of rice noodles (the flat kind, might as well drop the "l"), deep fried meats with red sugary sauce and some token green beans with black beans, and then follow it up with several magnums, two corn on the cob and a pluot (for fibre you know). Then I wonder why I go into a sugar low and am cranky all evening wanting to poke sticks at living things behind cages to rile them up. Not that I did. Instead, I listened to Andy, then watched some youtube videos of puppy BTs at play.

Some things have to change - and of course that was a lead-in for a list. I live for lists(!)

  • Must get over my fear of battery failure in my phone. I keep it charging when I know there's plenty of juice left. It's a bit like fearing you're going to run out of petrol in the car.
  • Must not laugh too much at Della in Raised by Wolves who used Pavlovian conditioning to curtail her younger kids' watching of Dora the Explorer - Every time they watched, she'd give them a dish of Doritos with extra salt added. After a while, the kids stopped watching because as Mariah said, "I don't like Dora, she makes me thirsty".
  • Must not think too much about where the picture frames go - I'll spare you the rant on the impossibility of hanging Ikea frames when you have a building frame what shakes every time a bus goes by (every 7-8 minutes during rush hour). Instead, I shall count the frames, then go to Homo Depot to get what I need for hanging the damn things. THEY SHALL BE HUNG.
  • Must be pleased that I no longer have to find ways of hiding financial chicanery for hiring purposes. 
  • Must get back to my oatmeal to rinse away the remains of all that I ingested last night and start feeding the gut microbes with kale and parsnips.
  • Must NOT look up articles on Sabrina the bitch what calls killing giraffes ethical kills, same with that dentists what killed a lion and all the other trophy hunters out there. It depresses me too much to see how horrible humans can be. 
  • Must not obsess over what is to become of all the big questions out there - no question is big in the greater scheme of things. They're just middling little irritations when it all comes down to it. 
  • Must not jump to the endgame every time something reacts. 

Instead, I shall:

Shelves - they've moved into the interior but will be out soon

  • Take Andy's advice and listen, observe, give due consideration and set it aside.
  • Not pay too much attention to the people on Craigslist who are no-shows.
  • Maintain a clean surface.
  • Floss and brush my teeth daily, but not worry about where the floss ends up - I have nightmares of the stray floss strangling sea turtles.
  • Go along with my sleep patterns and be grateful that I don't work shifts.
  • Be ecstatic that I have the "problems" that I have.
  • Keep on stretching the hamstrings - I'm almost certain they're responsible for the knee pain. 
  • Stop trying to listen to Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift - I just don't like their singing or songs.
  • Not worry about the three orchids I placed on the street for adoption. There's no place for them in my shoebox. 
  • Also put my IKEA shelves up for sell on Craigslist, but again, not worry if people make promises they don't keep.
  • Look up the regulations on Mr. Costco.
  • Review a paper or two.
  • Keep up to date on what's happening with MNPs.
  • Not worry about the extra pair of hands what decided to go elsewhere; I shan't have to feed that pair of hands, which is probably a damn good thing. 

Right then, I think I've wasted enough time here. I shall go hang three frames if it kills me then be on my way. Lemons. Meats. Water. Or something like that.

Pluot? Lovely noun. Plu-Ot.