Balance

Today's post is about balance.

Bank balances. Balance of my future. Balance within. Balance of life. Balance of blame. Balance of Ego.

So let's start with a tangent. Noisy people are everywhere. This upsets me to no end, and tips my balance over to annoyance. The people who feel entitled and announce this feeling loudly at restaurant tables deserve to have their perceived entitlement stripped from them. This goes all the way back to the smug couple who stepped in front of me at the security line yesterday because they'd been pre-cleared. Pre-cleared for what I asked; pre-cleared for being A-holes was the answer that flashed immediately in my mind.

I just wanted to smash their faces (and those of the loud people at the restaurant table) in but instead complained to Dr. J instead.

Bank balances - people who make mistakes in coding charges and counting days worked must be taught to never make such mistakes especially when it impinges on my finances and makes me scurry to my calcs page to do adjustments so that I can keep my balances straight. It helps when I project my expenses into the future, but when mistakes are made that throw my balances awry, well then I become anxious and balance flies out of the window. Fortunately this time, the parking spot stepped in and helped to sort things out. It's not perfect, but it will do for now. Time will help me adjust to this new trauma.

The flight back last night was short and on time. One of the best connections I've ever had. Pity the poor woman who came up to Vancouver because her flight to LA was cancelled. Why Vancouver? Because by not going to LA, she missed her flight to Japan, and from there to Kathmandu. Her bags went ahead anyway - but not her. So the airline sent her to Vancouver to catch another flight. Hopefully she made it.

The passenger next to me on the final leg was kinda piggy-looking. I thought of bacon. And then felt hungry and guilty. How quickly things swing back to normal.

Oakland was a good break this time. I think that because I've been working on my distance from anxiety and overly profound thoughts, I didn't feel as guilty taking time off. Spending time with the sprog and seeing what she was up to these days was fun - she's started writing stories too. The weather wasn't the warmest nor the sunniest, but when you can sleep in and eat cherries, who cares.

Now I'm back in Vancouver, and it feels like I never left.

I'm not happy with the state of the plants. The aphids have been at the honeysuckle again and there will be some trimming done. The bamboo has gone berserk as have the yellow pansies. The purple ones are now past their prime and need to be cut back too. The first of the Ms have flowered and last night their heady scent filled my nose.

Must sweep up the stray bamboo leaves though.

Thingy has moved out, and a second thingy is moving in. Let's hope this one is less sensitive.

But back to balance - this is the new state of mind that I'm moving towards now. Andy says it's good, Andy says that it's not being flat, but rather about filling one's temporal earthly vessel with liquid sunshine. I'm not sure how that leads to balance quite yet, but I shall find out. In the meantime, I'm to visualize a sun pouring warmth, smooth golden feeling into me from the head down. I'm trying, but what what comes to mine is a bucket of molten metal pouring onto my head. I must transmorgify this.

Balance in drama. I'm not the only one who has problems hearing the narrative. I must say though that I'm much better at it - that's because I have Andy on my side and also because I'm just more contemplative. Yes. That's it. Contemplative I said. Balance. I don't know what will transpire, but it will be alright because not only am I learning balance (and hot molten metal) but I have distance almost under control as well.

I must remind myself of the following:

In 2015:
I will not chase MVP status - it's true SOCK, the posts on status are merely for your enjoyment. I am not chasing MVP status.
I will characterize cell growth in the face of adversity
I will see how fast doxorubicin is released under different conditions
I will get the WooP out of my hair
I will see a physiotherapist to balance my hips
I will separate my expenses to obligatory, auto and discretionary and keep to that
I will stop overplanting and thin out the nicotianna.
I will plan a trip to Zion
I will plant travel seeds

Right then, that's plenty to be getting on with - especially since I forgot to bring my reading glasses with me and can't see worth shit right now.