Die electronic portals, die.

Another day, another submission.
Another submission, another CV format.
Another submission, another web portal
Another web portal, another set of non-intuitive commands
Another web portal, another set of protocols for submission.
Another set of non-intuitive commands and protocols,
Another ulcer and unbearable rage in the soul and body.

This cannot be healthy for me - or for the next small person to get in my way.

And the aphids - they're back but this time they're black and black aphids aren't as easy to kill. Or at least they're not as squishy as the green ones. I hate aphids. I wonder though whether aphids are symptomatic of something else, say more fecking submission protocols? Hmmm. A thought. Maybe a spray for the administrators who decide on the websites.

Deep breath. It's in - but barely and through no fault of ours.

Were I ruler of the world, the first thing I'd do is to mandate only one format for web portals. That's what I would do. And it would be a thing of beauty and of fear because if you don't love and worship the portal, and try to change it, you are devoured by it and put to work on polishing commas.

Telly shows - I've fallen, how I've fallen. I started watching "The Fall" with Gillian Anderson and thingy Jamie Dornan. Gillian is brilliant, Jamie is too but less so. Maybe it's because she's got blond hair, and he's got brown. Something like that I'm sure.

The prevailing theme in "The Fall" is the putting on and taking off of lanyards - what a strange word - but anyway, in multiple scenes the characters come in and go out of rooms and as they enter or exit, they almost always put on or take off a lanyard. I suspect that there's an internal competition to see who can use their lanyard the most during the show. I bet it's an inside joke in the show. Ya.

It's much like the use of "what is it?" on Downtown Abbey - just about every character has used the phrase, some more than others. Interestingly enough, it seems to be used by the ones with the highest titles, less so by those behind the green door. Speaking of green doors - did you know that it was the great Fay Weldon who wrote the pilot for Upstairs and Downstairs? And on that note, why are we so obsessed with dramas about servants?

Never mind, I shall adopt the use of lanyards at work now and get one with the phrase, "what is it?" printed on it. Clever don't you think?

Is no hope better than false hope? Discuss.

Some words of advice from SIO (that's senior investigating officer to those of you not in the know) DCI (detective constable inspector) Stella Gibson:

Don't misread your fellow human beings. They can end up shot in the back.
There's no guilt when advice is given - it can be taken or not, you're neither enabling nor enforcing.

And my absolute favourite:

Empathy - we all have limits to our empathy.

Now, to go unleash my spray of detergent and neem oil on the aphids. I will win this war.