Vampire hunting

Of late, I've been wanting to watch movies about penguins, in particular, animated, dancing and singing penguins - despite what Mary P. Travers had to say about them - do I even get to have this simple wish fulfilled? No. What about tiny, singing, dancing little yellow minions who love bananas? Apparently not them either. Life is just not fair, and the sooner I realize this, the better.

You see, I've not been able to negotiate a date to go see the Penguins of Madagascar with the fearsome and highly critical CT. You might think that a professional critic (oh, how I long to criticize professionally!) of the thay-a-ter would look with disdain at animated penguins, dancing or otherwise, but in truth, CT enjoys seeing movies such as these because it's a break from plays about serious (or what playwrights deem to be serious) life issues. In truth, I think sometimes that playwrights are like the police in small towns. You see, the policing that happens in small towns tend to be a bit less violent and serious (not always) than in big cities so when something happens, the tendency is to milk as much drama as possible out of it and then drama - being so contagious - spreads, and before you know it, you're in a dunghill of drama.

Dancing penguins, or little minions, no drama at all. Just fun, fun, fun.

I won't go into the details either, but at a recent gathering to watch some DVDs, I tried to garner enthusiasm for selecting movies - even though I'd been told that I had veto powers but no, again, it was a social experiment that we were all thrust into - by asking people at the table to name an actor whose name I used to generate the titles of the first three movies they had roles in, using Google Play. Well! The actors included: Matt Damon, Meryl Streep, Anthony Hopkins, Kirsten Scott-Thomas, Simon Pegg, George Clooney and Laudra Dern.Over twenty movies were generated - The Ides of March, Syrianna, Michael Clayton, The Fault in our Stars, Jurassic Park, When the Game Stands Tall, The World's End, Thor, Noah, Red 2, Only God Forgives, The Invisible Woman, The English Patient, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Elysium, Monuments Men, Good Will Hunting, August Osage County, The Giver, The Devil Wears Prada....and I even threw in March of the Penguins as a freebie, and what did we end up watching? "What's up Doc" with Streisand and O'Neal. A compromise, which like so many, pleases nobody. Nary a penguin in sight,  just 4 travel bags which were similar.

Recently, my poor little Nexus 5 developed a bad case of emphysema. It's been in dusty places where there are Romanians in heavy boots stomping around carrying sharp objects. You see, it's been hunting vampires in dusty crypts and breathing all that ground up bone. Not very good for one or it. The poor thing now doesn't know what to do and it starts up and then dies down, starts up and dies down. It's all very upsetting and I rather fear, I shall have to put it out of its misery or put it out to pasture.

No, it doesn't mean that I drive a stake through its heart, poor little faithful thing. I shall send it back to my Google Overlords who shall take it back into the fold with all due ceremony and full bagpipe ceremony.

The Google Overlords were very kind when I burnt incense, paid homage (researched chromebooks using Google search) and made requests because they're sending me a replacement N5 sans frais as one says in Canada - and with expedited shipping. So much faster than those trying to get a N6, which I've decided is too big for me. Or should I sell this and get a Nexus 6?

NO! MUST. NOT!

Must remain true to the love I have for my N5.

But back to the crypts (read, helping friend who is almost reaching the erstwhile stage) with renovations. My clothing is covered in dust, and the number of visits to Ikea has hit the double digits. I've come to hate putting cabinets and drawers together. You know what it's like - the greatest fear is - putting everything together only to find one or two items left over...that strikes fear in my heart because who knows what the long term consequences are - the thing could be stable right now, but in days to come, could collapse on you at a most inconvenient time, like when you've just stepped out of the shower or something. The second greatest fear is having one of those little wooden pegs break while you're putting the units together. Once broken, it's an immutable law of nature that you'll never be able to get the peg out of the hole. The third fear is stripping one of the many different kinds of screws they provide...so many sizes, so many formats so you're always afraid of choosing the wrong one and having it get stuck in the wrong hole, and then let's not forget the pain of finding the right screwdriver for the damn screw, and then why must they make the screws out of such weak, soft and pliable metal so that it deforms and then you're suddenly stuck with a screw that is only half-way in, but now you can't make it move further in, or make it come out.

So many reasons to be afraid of Ikea. The whole Ikea process is much like submitting a manuscript to the AACR journals. Pay for every step of the way, do everything yourself, and then have to tinker and tinker and tinker to get everything right, but you have to do it THEIR way before you get a product which you're so sick and tired of than you no longer want to see it, much less have it, in your life.

Now, I wonder whether this frustration is with the AACR journals or Ikea, or a general dissatisfaction with the meager results after much effort on your part. I do think it's the latter when all is said and done, and I'm tired of the effort it takes. I only have so much empathy in the bank after all. Grumble.