What is it?

I'm heavily into the world of Downton Abbey at the moment. And why not? It's (for the most part) more genteel and gentler than the world I inhabit at present.

I identify (or at least I think I do) with Lady Mary Crawley and the Dowager Countess - and it doesn't have to be one or the other. There are some parallels in what's happening in my world and in theirs. But I shan't get too caught up in all this delusional self analysis. The fact is, the two main reasons I enjoy the show so much are: 1) the way Ana says, "Mr. Bates" (more like "Baetes") and 2) the way "What is it?" is used. So many characters ask that question and like "lah', it can be used to express so much. I shall adopt this too and make it the message on my voice mail. Yah. What is it?

What indeed.

The events of last Wednesday have so far caused me to eat two boxes of nasty biscuits made of cheap sugar and flour, and one even cheaper box of nasty ice-cream. As a result the inflammatory processes in my body have flared up and so I can't sleep comfortably. Then I watch DA till all hours of the night before finally falling asleep just as the waste trucks roar by to pick up the bins. Why do they have to start so early in the morning? I'm sure the operators would prefer to start mid-day and end in the evening, rather than get up so early.

Yes. I'm well into the anger and depression stage of the 12 steps now, and teetering on the precipice of the spiral of delusion. Hate this feeling, but it has to be lived through, and with time, it all gets better, or at least one hopes it gets better - maybe one only becomes accustomed to the new conditions and one never realizes that one is actually giving up hope bit by bit (Poor Lady Mary). I hope that's not true though. I'd hate to think of my spine curving with each body blow without my knowing so that by the time I get to the red rope system of physiotherapical re-balancing, it's too late.

Maybe it is already too late.

Last night, the DC said, "Even I will admit that the heart does not exist solely to pump blood", to which LR said, "Why, ma-ma, you do surprise me!".

Roars followed by brimming. Because it's so true!

What is it then? What is it.