In a recent meeting, ICBs (some) gathered, and there was much genteel bitching about people. Couldn't agree more.

What is the point of being an ICB if you're not going to bitch? exclaimed DWE. What point indeed.

Today is Sunday and shortly I will leave for Edmonton. Thankfully only for 2 days. And actually, it's not really Edmonton proper, more the highway between the airport and the city. This annoys me to no end. There had better be a good pool there, or forms of entertainment that I wish to be accustomed to, or am already accustomed to.

There is a sense that things are not quite what they seem to be, and that there are any manner of political shenanigans going on. This sense pervades work and personal fronts in life. I'm tired of the political shenanigans, the false promises and the heightened expectations.

To hell with expectations. Ya! Consign them to the deepest circle of hell and may they be pickled in bitter salty brine, coated with oil then set on fire - oh after a dozen cuts are administered by blunt razors which i shan't have since I've joined the Dollar Shave Club. Oh dear. That's annoying - no blunt razors with which to administer cuts willy-nilly.

So there you go. You can't depend on anyone these days. Especially asinine policy makers who deem that monies must be returned because names aren't enough. And Ass-hole bankers who charge 35.00 for passing money through. The entire financial system needs a reboot and banks should be put out of business once and for all, and we should return to the barter system and putting money under mattresses - much like hiding passports in photocopy machines - a bloody brilliant idea really when you come to think about it.

Unfortunately, life doesn't quite work like that. In short, like it or not, you have to deal, and dealing isn't an easy thing when you're dealing with your mind what is overly empathetic and compassionate and kind. I wish to be less kind, have no compassion and be cold-flinty-stone when it comes to empathy. I shall surround myself with blocks of granite for inspiration and smile the smile that doesn't reach the eyes - the psychopath's eyes - I should know how to emulate this - I've known enough of them - psychopaths that is. The next time they cling, I shall kick.

And apologizing. I shall stop this ugly practice. I remember doing it a few years ago, and it caused some chagrin because it was deemed that I wasn't as pliable as I used to be, that I'd changed and wasn't as easy-going. Well, deal with it. I have no advice to give.

Of course, all the non-apologies, the flinty looks, and the lack of compassion shall be achieved to the highest standards. I shall apply the four agreements (somehow) to this. See if I don't. I shall return from Edmonton different. No more L'edition Blanche. No more white light of kindness. I shall cultivate the darkest of dark auras and furrow my brow tremendously and scowl at all and sundry.

Yes. That is what i will do because there is no point in doing anything else these days. People take advantage, and people who take advantage must be, like expectations, be consigned to the darkest, deepest, most excruciatingly painful circles of hell.

Now then what were the four agreements again?

  1. Act with integrity in all things you do
  2. Don't Assume
  3. Don't make it personal
  4. Do your best
So - for the record, I'm borderline failing 2 and 3, but did manage to recover and apply 1 and 4 so that I did what i would have done.

After all - the reasons for what happens aren't that important - in fact they are irrelevant - it's dealing with what happens and making sure that you don't set yourself up for these punishments again and again because what will happen is that you'll grow calluses that prevent you from doing 1 and 4 and instead indulge in the opposite of 2 and 3.

Lor - it's not easy being me is it? I hate the situations I find myself in at the moment. I hate them without a doubt.