Clarity

Clear snot. Finally I have clear snot. What a relief.

That's about the only that feels clear at present - I don't think that the synapses are firing quite the way they should be just yet. To be expected I guess - after all if you apply pressure on the grey matter, you're going squeeze it and then all that goodness oozes out. And Goodness unlike Despair or the other stuff from the Dark Side is difficult to replace.

Coughing  or hacking - what's the difference? Well, one involves your core abdominal muscles, the other doesn't. I'm convinced that I've now found a new abdominal muscle and given the workout it's had recently, it will be most prominent muscle for 2014.

Clarity of snot. What a concept. Mind you, I'd rather have clarity of mind right now - it's coming - but not soon enough. I also have this huge urge to scrub down the shoebox and get rid of all the damn virions on its surfaces.  But then I feel tired.  Then I bounce back and forth - back and forth - back and forth  - and end up on the sofa feeling sorry for myself.

Yah. I'm feeling sorry for myself, and if you have problems with that, then too bad. Why should I feel sorry for myself? Because my head is heavy, and I hurt in key points of my joints. Few people realize just how important wrists and hips are for graceful gazelle like movement through the urban landscape where so many elephants, rhinos and hippos stand and graze. Not to mention, if my hop fails suddenly and I have to collapse onto the ground in a heap like poor silly Desdemona when she was shoved down by Othello ("A Terra!), I have no wrist capable of supporting the fall which means that my head will probably hit the ground too then I'll have brain damage (and my head will be heavier) and the costs to keep me alive will me huge, and your taxes will go up. So really it's in your interest to feel sorry for me and to do something for me. Something nice.

Not that I make any claims that doing something nice will actually prevent me from going all "a terra" but it would make me feel good about myself.

No self-prophesies.
No dwelling on the past.
Focus on the present.

The present: My wrist and hip bother me. I'm in no mood to talk about nano-ninjas today. I have incipient lock-jaw and I don't know whether I'm cold or warm. It' May after all and this is always a month of fluctuations that come and go. A metaphor for life really, things come and things go, nothing (or at least very few things) sustain themselves indefinitely. In the present, I must do some calculations because I will feel better once I do. There was a missive from a past self recently - must go read and make sense of that too. Then I must go beat down the part of me that bleats "why". No point asking why! Who's going to have an answer for you anyway? There are two variants of the why - one cosmic (really and truly pointless) and the other more directed (even more pointless because at least the cosmos if nothing else is long-lived and consistent).

So there you go. As AD says, "you mustn't dwell overly long on your dreams in case you forget to live life".

Then there's that whole thing about growing old and decrepit. I had a small taste of it recently and it didn't taste very good. Kinda bitter actually.

In the end, nothing is ever as good as you hope, and nothing is ever as bad as you fear - in which case, you merely well-wish and let the winds blow the returns (if any) back.

Well. Wish. Well. Wish. Well. Wish. It will be difficult to do, but I shall persevere like this damn virus has. That's it, I shall mutate and become a rhinovirus.