Today's post is going to be short because I'm treading on thin ice and trying very hard not to fall through the cracks and drown in the icy cold water.


At least I'm not threading through ice - that would hurt. It would cut and when cut, I bleed. and when I bleed, I become cranky.

I have a horrible feeling that I've lost some pictures and data. This chills me but then again, these data were obtained so long ago. Surely I can't be expected to keep track? But maybe I'm supposed to always keep track. Tracks in and tracks out, but mostly out. Good thing too.

Dr. Dr. Shark graduated yesterday and was hooded and given a shingle. She's now left this particular part of the ocean and swum out East with the consort seal. Sad in many ways and demoralizing too. Especially the pancake hat thing. The good thing though was a last meal at Tojo's - where they remembered us, and tried to close before we step into the lobby.

So that's that - a 9 year era over.

So today, I should clean out the office and make the space mine again, but there's little appetite or energy for doing this right now. I'm not exactly sure what I should be doing right now. There are no pressing issues and I feel no urgency about anything.

Perhaps that's why my mind was busy generating some drama this morning over nothing except perceived and anticipated, but not confirmed soi-disant hurt feelings which are amorphous at best. Anyway, probably best not to indulge in all this fake drama because I'm sure there'll be real drama which will be tossed my way sooner or later. May as well save my energies for this.

Oh me, oh my.

I have to ask: Was all the editing worth it? Taking 6 pages away from 10 to make 4 was an effort and in doing so, I gave up some of my personal beliefs. Two ways to look at this - the first is that I'm swayed too easily, the second is that I'm open to others' beliefs. Oh, a third way to look at this - it doesn't really matter because in the long run, it's not all that important whether or not I have it one way or another.

The main thing is a clear flow in all directions and convenience in navigating the story/maze. There is always unexpected growth in what you write so that must always be pruned, pruned, pruned. The good thing is, when you prune away the dead wood, the diseased sapling, then yes things may slow down for a bit, but eventually there will be new growth.

On new growth - one thing it behooves me to remember is that things change. The weather in May (somewhat blustery at times) will change. There will be wet and cold days to come, there will hot, dry sunny days to come. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. You'll just have to deal with it. There will be data - and data is agnostic - the data will confirm, disprove or lead you into new directions. All you can do is to follow what's true and not be so hidebound that you stick to one theory always. In other words, it doesn't really matter what you think in the end because it'll all come to fuck-all and you have no control over what actually happens. All you can do is to be flexible and go with what comes your way. Disappointment will disappear eventually. Triumph and joy will also fade. So really when all is said and done, it's like the oceans and wind versus plate tectonics and in time to come, the earth will become flat, and all wind currents will cease.

Now where did that come from?

Today I will organize the extra desk for my projects. In the weeks to come, I shall protect my hands and face from UV-rays. There is no escaping radiation, however, that's always going to be part and parcel of my life. Then I will make an attempt to write a new witticism every other day, and not just write, but make sure it is read. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What I do not want to do is to sit around and wait because waiting around only feeds a monstrous egoistic arrogance, and is also a huge sapper of confidence. So spin off and become some other geometric (hopefully non-symmetric) shape. Pppth.

In the days to come, I will get my wrist, hip and heel (this is new) 100% again, or as close to 100% as I can get it. Then I will heed the beckoning of the hills and go forth to eradicate the ghosts of the past. This time it'll be my wish and nobody else's.

Good for Coast Capital. They're very efficient about rectifying mistakes. Such a good thing I went with them and didn't stick with BMO. Bleah.

Right then. One more thing done - two other digital things to take care off then I'm done.