Ra?

Ra? Ra...? Are you there?

Vulpine failed a few days ago. Rapha did too - which I'm sure brought much consternation (just wanted to use that word) to Dr. J.

And Ra is not present, but pluvia is in full evidence. Bah. Then my front tyre has a slow leak. And Chinese Bike Guy on Main doesn't start work till 11am cos he don't need to. And I'm annoyed when I take the bus.

I had a sudden premonition of how I would depart this world yesterday. Walking down the street outside work, I collapsed for some unknown reason and so it goes. What miffs me about this scenario is that it has to happen outside the workplace. I just hope this is only fanciful thinking on my part. Mind you though, on the way home after this cheery thought, the cars seem to be out to get me. All that swerving probably caused a slow leak. Chinese Bike Guy will be rubbing his little hands as he sees me come in for yet another repair.

The pizza on Monday. Must. Remember the pizza cos it was a taste sensation.

Otherwise, the trough through which I slough remains as muddy, murky, damp and dark as ever. Someone please shine a light in here. It doesn't even have to be one of the fancy Hues either, just some nice bright light so that I can see past the shadows and confirm that it's only mud and water what bog me down. And nothing else. Must. Stop. Wallowing.

And eat marshmallows (geddit? geddit? geddit?).

Lessons learnt stay around for a while, but you forget. How could one not forget? There's so much stuff to keep track of these days. But. Must. Remember. Lessons.

They were hard-earned and I mustn't lose them in some La Rondine type of 'fantasie a fantasie' as Magda said before going back to her chintz-covered parlour and the book-keeping ledgers of compromise.

A Suitable Boy for Lata - What a loaded title this is now that I think about the story. She had a choice to make, and she made it for better or for worse. My feeling is that it didn't really matter which she chose because time would have worn both down to the same round smooth pebble.

Like me - sitting zenly in a bubbling stream letting the water flow around me, or in today's weather, sitting on my bike letting the rain flow down me. Still zen after all, it's acceptance after all. Maybe time to send another little CW out into the ether for all the good that they do.