Falling

Not out of a window - I've been writing about defenestration via the enhanced permeability retention effect (EPR, doncherknow) - nor down a flight of stairs, nor climbing out of a window - that for you, little D.

Another dream - this time, not about grey cats, missing passports, or judgmental, blind windows - instead, I watched someone fall 30 floors down in my dream. Watched helplessly because there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. We were on a rickety flight of stairs - are you listening SOCK? - and it was already shaking from our footsteps (less from mine because, well, I weigh less - I do. It's a fact) - when the entire structure just simply gave way and the man in front of me fell through the air. In this case, wood became air and air stayed air and there was nothing transformational about glass into air and air into glass. I don't dream in such elegant metaphors.

And I reached out to try and stop the falling, the crumbling and the reduction of what should have been a stable framework and I couldn't. Funny thing is, the part I was standing on - perfectly stable. It felt like we were 30 floors up, but I don't think it could have been because we hadn't been climbing that long - always good to step back and apply some logic to dreams (first mistake) - So maybe 3 or 4 floors up at most.

Then I was downstairs again and rushed into the courtyard to see what had happened to the man who fell, and he was on a lovely mat woven out of alpaca wool, a little bit bruised, but quite alright. And I was relieved, but puzzled at how someone could survive such a fall, and puzzled at what all this means in the bigger scheme of things (second mistake - thinking that dreams make sense). Still, I'm glad the man what fell was fine. He wasn't even complaining much. Just a few bruises.

In any case, this whole dream thing leaves me with a sense of foreboding today. Let's hope it's just that - a 'sense' that is forgotten, or simply due to this dinner I have to attend, and the talk I don't want to give, but have to.

Confusion reigns. Yes. I'm sure that something creative will come out of this. I also want to do something illegal. But I need help, and I have to find the right person. In the end, I guess the question for me is, should I do what's right, or do what feels right - they're not necessarily the same thing, are they in the end? Should I do it? Should I?

And on to other things. Sugar. Oh. Dear. Too much sugar in the house, too much sugar being ingested. This has to stop. No, really. It has to stop. March has been an awful month for nutrition. I've not been particularly inspired to do much in the way of cooking, and have been eating out too much. MINT keeps beeping at me, telling me I'm going over my budget. I don't want to, but it keeps happening.

And radioactivity - no badge, no record, nobody will ever know. Mind you that's personal illegality and ethics so nobody else is affected by this.

I think I want to eat something now, but No. Sugar.