Bloated

A broken down house am I
Today is Wednesday, and I'm feeling physically and mentally bloated. Various toxins are coursing through my vascular system creating havoc. It seems that this is only natural given all that has befallen me recently. The cold mass of air from the North (do go away) has lowered my resistance to viral infections, and I have a low-level cold (I think), the residual twinges in the back have also made me wary of sudden movements, or sustained activity. In aggregate, this means that I'm feeling lazy, tired, and sleepy. Not the best attributes to have when you're expected to be an energetic dynamo that keeps the wheels of research and industry churning. But let's not speak of that at this particular juncture in time for all is not well in the House of Orange Blue.




Not sleep-deprived. A lovely state to be in...
Today, I must remember that when sleep-deprived, I don't make good decisions or do much good at all. Add to that, a befuddled and stuffed up head, and it's a miracle that I do anything at all. In the past, this state of affairs would have made me feel guilty about not getting work done, wasting a day for nothing, and comparing myself to what other people are doing. Not anymore. It's a waste of time to try and do anything today because I'll just have to unpick it all tomorrow and re-do everything. So I've spent 10 minutes obsessing over the purchase of an electric kettle (glass with blue leds) and rejected it because someone said the kettle rusts after the second boil. That's one decision made. I spent a second 10 minutes obsessing over how to effect the purchase of a Nexus 5, or a Sony Xperia Z1, and deferred the decision. That's one other decision deferred. Now onto the others...except some of these are mind-numbingly complex and involve political interference at high and low levels. This is what happens when largish sums of money, control over directions and personal egos are at stake. Given this treacly morass of sticky slime which is more than capable of drowning you within seconds, I think the best thing I can do is to step away and keep my shoes clean. At least for the time being. I will have to face this cesspool of slime someday, but not today. Today, I would be defeated too easily, and I don't want to give them that satisfaction.

A group! A group that regroups to tackle the snow!
My plan for today is to regroup. To clear my head and body of this bloat and to do what I need to do tomorrow after quality sleep and food. Today, I shall run and it will be a miserable run, but I will slog through it, go home, eat lightly, and go to sleep early without gazing into little electronic devices. Even if they've received the update to 4.4.2 ahead of certain other devices. The other thing that I will do today is to send out some details, some digital memory, which will also serve as a cosmic wish-list, to the future for it to bounce back to me at some chosen time-point. I feel it is important to make some notes on the SOM that is me and my circumstances at present. I'm not sure whether this is a case of Sebastian burying a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow for him to dig up later in life when he's old, or whether this is the form of self-flagellation that is so uniquely me. It doesn't really matter because time will tell. YOu see, either the pot is really golden in which case it doesn't matter. If the pot is filled with fool's gold, it doesn't matter either because the lovely part about all this, is that by the time I'm reminded of this, the passage of time will likely have taken the sting out of the flagellation, if that's what it turns out to be. So there you go. Time is key, and time will tell. Now to go torture my calendar.