The beginning of the end

Jiwa yang di hiriskan (tipu saja lah)
Inikah cinta, menghiris jiwa...

At least this is what I think. Fortunately thinking is only part of the equation, and when you're thinking while sleep deprived, the equation goes out of the window and suddenly it's all baseless emotional fuzziness, which makes you forget the narrative and dive into the drama.

So let's not do that.

Drama for drama's sake. So exhausting.

Don't feel guilty, but put the drama in your voice
Instead, I shall put on La Clemenza di Tito and not feel guilty even though feeling guilty is an absolutely prodigious talent of mine. What shall I not feel guilty about? Let's make a list - so useful lists - as Ria says, "you can use all the fancy software and systems you want to make lists, but it all comes down to the same thing, you write down a series of things and clutch it tightly around you so you don't forget'.

Poor Ria - she had much to forget but she did, and she even ended up giving good advice to Dee who fell into a similar predicament except Dee's was exacerbated by a midnight flit to Spain, and even a faked boating accident - I don't make these things up. I couldn't.

In any case, both Ria and Dee got through their own predicaments - one became a pastry chef, and the other a documentary film maker.


Anyway, the list of things to not feel guilty about:
  • Eating chocolate digestives as part of a well-balanced lunch (instant noodles, broccoli, shitake mushrooms, garlic, instant coffee).
  • Walking normally on floors, going to the washroom late at night and moving shelves around at 2pm.
  • Taking pictures willy-nilly and sending them out unsolicited.
  • Buying slutty jeans.
  • Writing blog posts when you've just dodged a bullet and people have big smiles on their faces.
  • Crossing things off the list on the yellow piece of paper slowly - make that s-l-o-w-l-y.
  • Feeding my worms fresh vegetables.
  • Running s-l-o-w-l-y until I lose these extra few tropical pounds s-l-o-w-l-y.
  • Hoping for rain so that I can test out my new Vulpine jacket.
  • Wanting to nudge MM with a message about new clothing; he'll froth at the mouth.
  • Looking into zero-interest rate loans to fund non-serious activities.
  • Cancelling credit cards after using them to get free hotel rooms (it was the only reason I signed up).
  • Deferring decisions (and this needs a separate list of its own).

The list of things I need not feel guilty about deferring a decision on:
Dumb and Dumber - at least not Dumbest. Yet.
  • What flavour doughnut to get (BK says Walnut crunch - good for the prostate presumably).
  • Giving ultimatums or throwing a tantrum.
  • Making elite status or falling back into peasant status.
  • Waiting for the Nexus 5 or getting the Xperia Z1 - I'll probably wait, but not as Dr. T thinks, for it to show up only.
  • Turning on the heat or getting a Dyson hot tower (see looking into zero-interest rate loans above)
  • Saying something that could cause an implosion or remaining silent and see whether the implosion occurs or not anyway.
  • Checking out Qi chargers when I have a plethora of charging USB cables around.
  • Checking out an easy way (but not cheap - the easier it is, the more expensive it is) to stream my music everywhere.
  • Shoes to match.


There. I'm so glad I waited a day before continuing on with the menghiris jiwa bit.