Blurry

Sharp pointy things to keep me on track
Out of focus today. I hate it when I get a good night's sleep and still wake up tired. And I don't even have any good dreams (that kept me up subconsciously) to report either.

In fact, I can't remember the last good dream I had. Some vague pictures of being harangued by a harpy comes to mind when I push the neurons to remember. That and some sort of longing for something that isn't likely to happen. Much like the impending Nexus 5 - all the rumours, all the rumours, all the rumours.

However, I have this plan to have my cake and to eat it too. The good BK is involved now after he let something slip and break. I've been very patient and been working on his latent Irish Catholic Guilt (ICG) which is very powerful. Before long, he'll be as putty in my hands will scurry to do my very bidding.

And if all works out, for the price of the new Nexus 5, I shall have access to the latest Sony Xperia Z1 as well as the new Nexus 5. And it shall all be mine. Of course the burning question at the moment is whether I get a purple Xperia Z1 to match my vulpine jacket.

V for Vulpine, not MEC
Speaking of vulpine jackets, it is most inconvenient to know the one other person in town who has the same jacket, albeit in a different (i.e. lacking much less panache) colour. I was at this other person's home for dinner last night, and the LACK of lights in his hallway made me grab the wrong jacket, and it was a very traumatic experience. The other traumatic injury occurred when the elementary school teacher asked whether the jacket was purchased at MEC - but I suspect that Dr. C had something to do with that - i.e. that he TOLD the elementary school teacher to say that which he (Dr. C) knew would wound me grieviously. And after I brought his shirt back from Italy too. And got him a scarf from the wilds of Borneo (who knew that it was so cool in Borneo that scarves are produced).

All the colours you could ever want on a shelf
In fact, it MUST be a sign of global warming because the scarves aside, I walked into a store in KL (One Utama, voted #1 shopping mall in Asia, where 80% of travelers say that shopping is the main priority of their vacation) and saw sweaters, fleeces, gloves and hats for cold weather. Bear in mind that KL is practically on the equator. Based on these two INDEPENDENT pieces of data, I can only conclude that we're in the throes of excessive and dramatic changes in climate, and that KL temperatures, which are normally in the high 30s, have plummeted. There you go. I shall publish this now and add to the deluge of scientific papers which don't say much that is definitive out in the world, and pad my CV, and then keep my job. Yesh. I shall find a way of adding this post to my CV yet.

Best to not expect too much
The other disappointing thing about today was the taste of the coffee sourced from the local green and white coffee store down the street. I got the normally very reliable blend and it tasted sour and stale - much like me - today. Given how much I had looked forward to the coffee, I was bitterly disappointed. But that seems to be theme for the day. Bitter Disappointment.

However, I shall not let this get me down, well maybe just a little bit. Instead, I shall TRY to adjust EXPECTATIONS and not let it blind me to what's good, kind and generally wonderful about people. Yes. That is what I shall do. Adjusting is good. I think, but what if I don't want to adjust. Then I guess you're in trouble and I must really stop having these internal conversations with my id, or at least stop transcribing them.

Who can tell what's around the corner? Nobody. That's right - nobody knows, but knowing that doesn't stop one from wondering, and wishing what one wants into being around the corner. Not very healthy behaviour I know, but what can i say? I'm mentally addled these days. It's a melange of the post-vacation blues, the post-application blues, residual jetlag, the change in season and relief that all the passive-aggressive dickering and negotiation what went on these past 6 months has come to some kind of resolution. I think. The line of blue that runs through me (much like the one that ran through a production of Rigoletto, where the line represented a wall, a door and window (so multi-functional) I once saw) will lift one day and disappear, and even if it doesn't, I will learn to live with it. After, wonderful (as in It's a Wonderful Life) is relative and the degree of wonder will shift with circumstance and environment. But allow me one wish - that there will be more gentle flutterbies to come because even though life is short, surely it's NOT that short?