Think or Dream

The hamsters mark their dinner around the rock of reality
Today is Wednesday and I rushed into work to bombard some more little things with lots of fast moving electrons, but had to postpone it. And this has nothing to do with anything other then to be a factual contextual thing what sets the tone. Or something.

Really, it`s just a marker - Wednesday - for Thursday - tomorrow.

And why do I think Thursday...why because last Thursday, I had a snippet of memory of a dream that was apropos to what was happening with milestones in my little life. And I couldn`t remember the exact words but I was sure I liked the image. And it was to do with cliffs, and waves, and mists of memories and a fall through air. And I wanted to know what the hell it was all about.

So I turned to Google - for the record BK, Google Now is my friend again - and my overlords took but a second and returned with a url that when clicked gave me this text which I`d put down 2 years ago. And this pleases me beyond saying.

Snippets of memory orbit my little head
Because - when yesterday, I decided to trust. And in trusting, much happened, and possibly over-interpretation in a pinch, and in limpid pools what you have little choice but to dive in. Not that I`ve actually been for a dip in the ocean yet, but that will come.

ANYWAY. Goodness, you can tell that the deadlines are coming - for the record:

Three are due on Sept 1.
One must be finished by Sept 10
Another one must be done by Sept 28 - Yes Dr. C, I`ll shall be tapping away in Italy.
Yet another one might have to be done for Dec 1 (we`ll find out sometime in October)
There are at least two others I`m involved with but fortunately don`t have to write, just to comment on.

Then we`re still running around doing hexperiments (Hexperiments, I say!) and the weather is changed and I still don`t have my VULPINE - Dr. J. Hrumph - and generally trying to analyse and put the data together in the best possible way.


But all that pales when in a pinch you suddenly drown. And anyway, below is what the the little snippet of memory looked like on October 4th, 2011. The italics for emphasis are mine.


Cor, pinch me on the right side please, that`s my best side.

Lagi tujuh


In which another 7 minutes is used up to clear my head...Kind of.

This one is being timed with Et Incarnatus Est (7min and 24 secs). Close enough, I say. 
I am nonplussed. Yes. Good word, that's kind of being numb but in actively so. 

I saw a bumper sticker today and this is what went through my head.
Bumper stickerPerform random acts of kindness
Me: Sometimes one has to be cruel to be kind
Ergo: Performing random acts of cruelty is really the same thing then
QED
And I went searching for my first victim beneficiary.

Today, I'm again sleep deprived. I shall have to hunt down a zopiclone and snuffle it down, then have late midnight conversations of which I shall have no memory. This is freaky in a way, but also good for ceding responsibilities in another way. Yes?

Drugs. They shall be my excuse.

I thought long and hard about harapan-harapan last night. I didn't mean to, but it still happened, so you go with the flow. Nothing new to report, expectations are exactly that - they drive me up the wall because somehow when you give me an egg, I see a cake rather than just an egg.

Eggs. So sneaky, even if free-range.

A dream of sorts. I think.

Someone asked, "...and where are we?"

As I answered, the landscape shifted to match my words, and I said, "Aucune idée (I dream in both official languages) où tu es, but I'm on the edge of a cliff that's crumbling, maybe even undergoing soil liquefaction, and the shifting mists of memory (I also dream in cliched metaphors) below prevent me from seeing whether I'm going to land on the hard rocks of dashed expectations, or float away in a sea of an unexpectedly different reality."

Whereupon, the reply was, "Meh, I don't know either, but I guess I'll find out as well",

The moral of this little tale? 
It's not the fall that counts, it's the landing.