Mrs. D spits into the wind

The winds of change are nigh. This means that the weather has changed and I'm reacting dramatically to the change. Even if the change is overdue, and likely to only last a few days.

This also means that more than ever, I must read the narrative and ignore the self-induced drama. Silence to BK, KB and RP, as in - keep silent or else heads (not mine, but your lovely ones) will R-O-L-L, and I don't mean sushi rolls either.

Nor do I mean the extra rolls which have appeared at my waist.

It's week 7 and the eating of soft sugary white-flour based 'food' products continues apace - nay it picks up the pace.

I have to  segregate the thoughts in my  head. Those that are straightforward looking in a linear manner, and those that orbit my head in a circular apogee type way. Yesh. Apoggee'sh. I like that.

Flawless by George Michael (The Boxer Mix version) is running through my head, but I can't actually hear it.

I will never understand what the hell I'm writing about here.

Will Karma work out? Probably not because it doesn't really exist does it? And if it does, then I've just shot myself in the foot.

Will the four agreements do anything? I don't think that's the point actually, the four agreements aren't supposed to do things for you. It's just supposed to remind you to be behave well, and be good to others, and remain true to your beliefs. Integrity - blah, blah, blah - doing the right thing when nobody is looking, blah, blah blah...

Sheesh. Integrity. Whadda concept.
Whadda crock - oh there I go shooting self in foot again. It's getting kind of fun in a weird sort of way.

Details, details, details. What to do about them? I'm not sure. But in the details, I'm reminded once again of integrity and not lying. The line between outright lie and presenting the best face (left profile please) forward is becoming ever thinner.

No raises again this coming year. Except this time it's my fault whereas last year it wasn't my fault.

However, today I planned much, planted some seeds in the right heads and generally made an attempt to secure some facsimile of a future for me.

Tomorrow, I look for the roads that lead to Rome and hopefully the rooms that line the roads. Let it not be a full inn so we have to stay in stables - hay is so prickly.

I dunno what the future holds, but the present is certainly busy and a wee bit stressful. The question is whether I'm making it stressful for myself, or whether I'm reaching my limits. I feel spread out a little bit thinly and no KB, I'm not laying back - that only leads to handshakes.

At least it's a double handshake with a meaningful pause now, but how long will it last? That's the question. I dunno.,

So many I dunnos

I'm convinced that this morning was taken as an opportunity to lecture me, and rub my nose in it. I bet it is. I'm definitely not going to know what the hell I mean in a few years time.

Just. Remember. What happened when you hit certain milestones while on Cambie. Just. Remember and try not to wonder about it. Just take it in the milestones you reach (or stumbled across) and be sure that you answered the call the best you can. I worry for two reasons. For the reasons that triggered the milestones, and the reasons for my answer.

I shall go look at my purple floating bulb now and be zen. It's like a digital lily pad.