Bzzzz...

Toxic lilac lakes forming in my red blood cells
I have malaria. I'm sure of it. Every 24 hours I'm febrile then it's followed by a period of calm and cool, then I'm febrile again. It's all those damn parasites reproducing and bursting out of my red blood cells and releasing their nasty toxins as they do. This shall do my poor beating heart no good, I tell you. There, there, there, it's okay. hide away in your little dark red and warm chamber, beating rapidly away. I'll protect you. Where's the doxil?

But for malaria, perhaps the more appropriate question is, where's the gin tonic?

What's the cure? It all depends on just how radical you want to be. A simple beheading would take care of the problem, but you'd not live to enjoy the cessation of febrility. Perhaps a little lobotomy so you don't feel febrile? Trouble is lobotomies are so difficult to judge. A little too much rummaging and you won't feel the cool collected calm periods either. In fact, you might not feel anything at all. So there you go - when the cure is worse than the disease, stick with the disease and manage it with made up panaceas that consist of sugary dough baked at high temperatures and hot dark cups of strong coffee.

Dwarf trees, but giant produce. One can but hope
There you go. I absolutely do not want to read nor write today. In fact all I want to do is to buy large pots, bags and bags of soil, then plant hybrid dwarf cherry trees. That's what I really want. Even more than that, what I would like is to be plunged into an absolutely frenzy of focused concentration on something that really, really, really  grabs my  attention to the exclusion of everything else -especially the malaria-like symptoms.

Oh I know what'll work. La Clemenza di Tito. It's always helped in the past. Such a lovely story of sworn vengeance, forgiveness and then redemption.  Especially when the ferocious Dame Janet Baker is really, really, really pissed off. This will do my febrile heart, mind and vascular system good. The cool, elegant and focused passion of Mozart's music, c'est si moi. Except that I'm not really elegant nor cool, nor focussed but one can aspire can't one?

Mr. Palmer looks askance at hope
One shall aspire indeed and get the necessary words down today for the framework, so that the others can have at it - they will not really pay attention anyway. So there you go. Can't control what will happen in the future, all I can do is to put the proverbial best foot forward and hope that it's not stomped upon by some uncaring behemoth.

This too shall be done. It shall be done. I've always completed the applications - even if unsuccessful - but it just feels like I'm cutting it too fine this time. Okay. Febrile sequence over for now - who needs gin or tonic (probably DWE and DWA the drunken sots) - I'll just go and channel focussed passion now  and put in my claim for hope and redemption. What was that Ben (Geoffrey Palmer in Butterflies) said about hope?

"Hope - there it goes running for the hills, 
its blasted arse on fire"