Yet again, another day of sighs.

Back to Tito again and in a rampaging rather than a clemenza state of mind.

The files what didn't do what they were supposed to? Still doing it. My next step is to contact the vendor who will then proceed to make me repeat every step I've already done because it's "company policy", and another two days will be wasted.

I   hatezzz  them. I   hatezzz  them. I hatezzz them.

That was the first sigh. 

My under-table keyboard table is failing, and it's now leaning over to one side. This is also irritating, but one good thing - it might actually help compensate for my leaning over to the right. So in the long run, this could be good.

However, I doubt it.

That was the second sigh.

Then Mr. R from NB called (finally) after I called Mr. J, and Mr. J sent a message to Mr. R. There ended up  being two phone calls from Mr. R, and both times he made me go through the security rigmarole because in the first case he had to verify my credentials for transfers, and the second because my financial profile didn't match my account's objectives.

Apparently, the instructions to "make me money" isn't good enough any more. We did manage to sort it out although time will tell whether it's really sorted out.

Must. Also send instructions to Mr. K. Must not forget.

Not a real sigh, but I'll count it as the third.

ID has gone to London and Athens with Dr. C. I hope he's safe and will return to me in one piece, and isn't left at the security check point in LHR. Dr. C will be drawn and quartered if that happens - are you reading this Dr. C? Hmmm?

My head is kind of exploding right now, and I can get nothing done because I'm very distracted with life stuff. I had this vision where I confided in MS (why I don't know - it makes no sense at all) about how I felt a good session of trephination would work wonders for me. For those of you who don't know what trephination is - it is the process whereby you drill holes into your skull to let the ill-behaved humours what drive you crazy, make you distracted, and cause your head to 'splode out so that you become sane, you focus and your head implodes. Much less messy.

Being distracted makes me unhappy. Being unhappy makes me unproductive. Being unproductive makes me anxious and distracted, and you see how it goes. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

One must do something about this. Electroshock treatment doesn't work (I've tried), and I don't have the right kind of burrs for trephination at the moment. I'm not letting TM near me with his needles. Much rather have CB have at me with his ice-cubes.

Incidentally, CB told me that he sees on average 17 shoulders a day. At 5 days a week, that's 85 shoulders and at $75 per shoulder, that's...$6,375/week, that's $25,500 a month? Can that be right? I'm changing professions. Money may not buy you happiness, nor love, but I bet I'd have a good time trying.

I will reach my financial goals. Of this I'm fairly confident. It all depends on whether I have the strength to continue with my instant coffee. Already, I've slunk into the local coffee place and got myself a coffee that's ridiculously expensive.

On that note, I told GA (not a very sympathetic or empathetic individual at all) I rather feared that my financial goals wouldn't match my sense of aesthetics even as it matches the basic fundamental needs, and he said it would serve me right for buying premium.

Well. I was quite hurt. For when I look back now, it was a classic case of bait and switch. The grapes, they will be flying and GA will find out just how much grapes hurt when frozen then hurled at high speeds with the intent that they be lodged into nostrils and ear canals.

Some reassurances from me to me - after all if I don't reassure myself, who else is there to do it?

  1. The spreadsheet version will be the easiest and fastest option for now; the online version is too complicated for my present needs and the transactions will be completed by October 22, at which point I will/can only watch the tides flow for a few months and hope not to be washed out to sea. The flood-gates have been opened, water will flow and there's not much you can do about it. Just smile and nod quietly. 
  2. Fugitive Toys have sent you a very nice note so that's also taken care of.
  3. I don't believe in the HSP stuff, but that's no excuse not to do something about it. It's not what I believe, it's about building a network that will signal rapidly. What I believe or not is irrelevant. 
  4. There are two budgets that have to return to me; I have control over this and it will help tide (more marine metaphors) use over. We already know that this is as low point, and the objective of the present exercises are to stay afloat and not ground ourselves on sharp, nasty rocks.
  5. I just wish I could say the same about harapans for I'm already on sharp, nasty rocks and being poked in all places and it's very uncomfortable. Fortunately, I have very low body fat and I my yoghurt intake is somewhat prodigious which means that my bones are more than capable of wearing down the sharp, nasty rocks which already are becoming less than sharp. Harapans. Sigh. So unexpected and always such bad timing. Hate them. And on that note, must move to clemenza sooner rather than later. It's healthier. Just don't expect the same when it comes to NP and MB. Flesh and blood can only take so much. 
  6. Puppies are fun, they're adorable, but they do jump up a lot and bring dirt in everywhere, and generally make a mess, and are easily hurt. NO PUPPIES. NO PUPPIES. NO PUPPIES.
  7. The lavender is in and so are the Japanese Maples. I approve. However, I shall perform vigilante acts of guerrilla gardening and before they know it, midnight candy and matthiola will make and appearance. 
  8. Today. My goal is to ignore the PIK network because damn it, there's nothing I can do unless I get quantifiable numbers. And quantifiable they're not at present.
  9. Today. My second goal is to return a form to Mr. K - easier said than done.
  10. Today. My third goal is to return the HSP forms to Dr. K, then prepare a budget for the remaining PIK studies. According to MB, The big K knows me and loves me and so I must use this misguided and misplace love to my advantage and support the likes of MW.
  11. Today. My fourth goal is to find books by EB for MAL. This will not be easy, but it will have to be done. 
  12. Today. My fifth goal is to return racks and jars. 
  13. Today. My sixth goal is to forget the rudeness and lack of politesse of certain folk who shall remain unidentified for now until I find a weakness in their armour. Then trephination shall be as nothing to what shall happen to these certain folk. Clemenza...clemenza...clemenza...clemenza. Perhaps I'd better skip a few tracks here and go straight to the denouement where all is revealed and forgiven. 
  14. I must say thought that simmering blood pressure does keep me awake....

Not quite being Mimi today am I DWE?

You see, in the end, it doesn't matter all that much. It really doesn't. When I think of the utter pathos of the spa-day picture, it breaks my heart. However, this is a natural part of living, and we should be grateful that we are able to feel this, and have our hearts broken for it wouldn't be very natural otherwise. There is a difference between having your heart broken, however, and listening to others speak of their broken hearts. It  may be my role in life, but I don't want it. I've tried wearing dark glasses to hide my kind and compassionate eyes like Davey did when they were in Paris, but it doesn't seem to help. 

I really must learn to be cold, uncaring and selfish.