which keeping confusion at bay is important if you're to hold two jobs, however ultimately wonderful you are...

"I've got two jobs! How did that 'appen? Cor...you gotta concentrate ain't cha. With two jobs...
I mean, I can do it..as long as I don't get confused, but I do get confused easily."

I am intent on seeing this updated, 1963 Brighton version of "A Servant of Two Masters", originally set in Venice which is playing to outrageously good reviews (Simply Fucking Brilliant) on Broadway now.

Not to mention, it's not that often Dagenham and Didcot are mentioned in the same breath.

A preview here - do watch it DWE, I think you might enjoy it. The others won't, but your English blood will appreciate it.


"A friend of mine likes you!"

"Does he prefer eatin', or makin' love?"

"It's a tough one, that one ain't it? I dunno!"

I shall squeeze my eyes tightly shut in a little spastic movement from now on.


In other news. Actually there is nothing new. Well, nothing new that I can speak of anyway. 

Let's see. The Fecking MBs are back, but a quick squirt of Neem oil will send them packing. And related to that, it's interesting how expectations are managed.

So today's mantra worked quite well. The tails stopped twitching when I walked into the room and there was no need for sharp needles. Now once I get people below a certain rank to turn their face to the wall when I sweep along the corridors of power, all will be well in my world. But until then, sharp needles will be wielded. 

Today, KB couldn't make the QC work try as he might. It wasn't his fault that the lines were contaminated after all. In his annoyance and rage that he wasn't able to meet my expectations, he lifted the lead pig - container and all with one hand. WITH. ONE. HAND.

Had I tried that, the one wrist would have been longer than the other, and there would have been snapping of bones. I saw KB and RB walking with little K or R in a pram the other day, and thought, "Ah Ha! The perfect nuclear family!". This is funny because both KB and RB work with radiation. If you do not see the humour in this, you are hopeless. 

Back to expectations - I'm fed up with people failing to meet my expectations. But what is there to do? I can see that I will have to set the bar low for people and hope that when they jump, their shins hit the wall and the fall face first in mud. And you thought I was past mixing up metaphors. 

And from expectations we head straight over to Google's search function. Such a clever little box. A few key strokes here and there, then a tap on the delete button and all those low-expectation people are gone. Pouf. Simply gone. 

Lovely. 

Now where was I? I'm not quite sure, but certainly not Dagenham nor Didicot. Nay, not even Dorking - which also made an appearance. 

This week, I shall not aspire greatly. There are too many pitfalls that have to be avoided for me to raise my face to the sun (speaking of unmet expectations) and aspire high. If I look up, I shall not see all the shit-headed, misery-inducing, pathetic odd-sods of low expectation people lying face down in mud and then I'd trip and hurt my leg much like RR did when he was on the swings, he actually said the F word. It was caught on video. Feck! He said. Feck! Just like that.

The foot was hurt because he repaved some steps that were loose and uneven. Unfortunately once they were tightened and made even, he promptly fell down the steps and hurt his foot which was then jarred when he went on the swings and so said Feck! Just like that. 

Goodness me. I'm listening to LS tonight and she's very adamant about not stopping except that the last tears were cried last night so she's a bit dehydrated and speaking of dehydration, I'm also annoyed with the feebleness of the seedlings. No more pandering or coddling. Starting this weekend, they go out onto the deck and face the wind in full. And the chill. And the rain. And I'm using glue words because I can't come up with sentences.

After all it's not easy having two jobs especially when you get confused easily. But then maybe I should be less negative. 

The wise man of Texas once told me to let go the stone less it caused me to drown. After 3 years, he's now said to me that you have to make it happen so I will try to make it happen. But no promises. But wait, I'm already lowering expectations and aspirations so perhaps I should just do it. Hmmm. Funny, I suddenly feel like buying Nike stuff.

Today was a terrible day for food, and I still have a bag of crisps and another of biscuits to finish before I'm done for the day. Then again, if they're part of my dinner, then surely it's still a case of more calories out than calories in being a good thing?

"I dunno! I get confused easily"

The subject of CH came up recently, and I've tried. Lord knows I've tried and been patient, but I finally lost it and said very clearly, Feck CH, he's a socially retarded aphid. In fact, defenestrate him and watch the slowness of his mind react as he falls. It would be fun. So fortunate that he can't propagate like aphids.

Today, I would like to think that tomorrow is going to be a better day, but I can't quite convince myself at the moment. It would require more positivity than I have at the moment, so I shall give in and be a cock-up. There are days when you simply give in to the inevitable and let the dark tides carry you out, and you don't fight them even though you know you should because, well because you're tired and the dark tides suddenly seem very comfortable. Poor Jack - 30 something years he fought, and fought and fought. What it must have been.

No, I'm not waiting all my life and more, whatever that means. Nor am I going to believe that all this is bigger than us all. So hold on and float out. That's one way of seeing the world after all. The legs will shake, they will. This is what BCC, who also stopped one day and just switched off, said. The legs will shake. But not tonight, they're too sore to do much more than flop. As in "flop onto big blue and write on little blue".

Apparently this is the real thing. Should I believe it? No more living in shame? Not going to run or hide away, or telling all those lies? It's been too long. 

Goodness. Such synchronicity.

Of course, all these are assumptions. And when one isn't sure of assumptions, it makes a side move and becomes presumption. Ah well, let them criticise cos they don't understand. After all, this is the real thing, or is the real thing the dark tide?

From the frying pan into the fire. Who said that and why did he say it? I don't remember anymore. But it had something to do with HPGs. I think. I'm no longer sure. I can feel the dark tide rising. 

OOOOOH. Now that was an excellent segue for the dark is rising too. And the book was never found and little S was suspected of chicanery except now she's a bit too old for that and has developed her own suspicions and I'd better make notes - secret notes - to myself else I'll never understand what the hell is coming out from my fingers now. 

In the days to come, the writing will become even more dense. I'm sorry to say this, but unfortunately it's true. 

"Stronger than strong", but then smell isn't everything. 

I wonder what ever happened to JC - Weevil we know, he was last seen beetling down the lanes of Brighton - but not in 1963. And I came full circle again. 

After all, I have my references now, and I'm wonderful. The ultimate wonderful in fact were the exact words.

Walaubagaimanapun: The assumptions that become presumptions - must be careful for these are real people who're involved in something that is taking them over, and turning them out. However much they want to avoid it, this is their responsibility and nobody else's. In other words, I must tread lightly and let them go their own way, and avoid being trod upon myself.

Bahaya - ni!


All this Korean Rojak ("Rojak Apa?"). So confusing - and what with being easily confused, I don't understand.